The Strands of Marriage in the Era of Divorce

I'm not in a relationship, so you might be wondering why I’m talking about marriage. Fair question! But you don’t need to be married to observe what keeps relationships alive and thriving. Watching relationships around me, hearing stories, and learning from friends and family, I’ve come to appreciate a few truths that might resonate with anyone, single or married. So, humor me as I share what I believe are the "strands" that hold a marriage together—especially in an era where divorce seems to loom larger than ever.

To start, I believe that God should be at the very heart of every marriage. The Bible in Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “a cord of three strands is not easily broken,” suggesting that a marriage grows stronger when God is a part of it. Having God at the center brings a sense of guidance, patience, and stability to the relationship, providing wisdom during the tough times and reminding both partners of the love and forgiveness they are meant to show each other. When God is one of those essential strands, His presence becomes the foundation, offering peace and support far beyond what two people can provide on their own.

And while love is important, it alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. It’s the feeling that draws two people together, but it isn’t always constant, and it certainly doesn’t have the power to fix every problem that comes up. In marriage, other qualities need to be woven in to create a foundation. One of these is a spirit of forgiveness and gratitude. No one is perfect, and in the close connection of marriage, misunderstandings, mistakes, and hurt feelings are bound to happen. Forgiveness is essential—it allows both people to let go of resentment and avoid holding grudges. Along with forgiveness, a thankful heart is also vital. It’s easy to focus on what’s missing or on each other’s shortcomings, but a thankful heart sees and appreciates the small, everyday acts of kindness and care that strengthen a relationship.

Another critical strand is open communication. For a marriage to thrive, both people need to feel heard, respected, and understood. Good communication means not only talking openly but listening carefully and with empathy. The ability to express feelings and discuss even difficult topics in a safe, loving way allows couples to handle disagreements constructively and feel more connected. When communication breaks down, misunderstandings and resentment can quickly grow, creating barriers between partners. But when each person feels valued and understood, they are more likely to work through issues together.

A good heart—a character that remains gentle, kind, and understanding, even in times of anger or frustration—is perhaps one of the most valuable qualities in marriage. Fights and arguments are natural in any relationship, but how each person chooses to respond during conflict can make all the difference. A good heart doesn’t act impulsively or retaliate in anger. Instead, it chooses compassion, remembering that hurtful words can leave lasting scars. A partner with a good heart considers the well-being of their spouse, even when emotions run high, helping the marriage stay rooted in love and respect over the years.

Lastly, truthfulness and openness form the bedrock of any lasting relationship. Honesty builds a foundation of trust, allowing both partners to feel secure and safe within the relationship. When people are truthful and open, about everything from their feelings to their concerns and dreams, they create an environment where love and intimacy can genuinely flourish. Trust helps couples feel connected, even during difficult times, and it prevents doubts or insecurities from undermining the relationship. In this way, openness serves as a powerful strand, holding a marriage together through all of life’s changes.

Marriage is a journey of growth, compromise, and faith. When built upon the strands of God’s guidance, forgiveness, open communication, a compassionate heart, and unwavering truth, a marriage can thrive, even in today’s world. Where divorce may seem like the easier option, these strands offer the strength and stability to weather life’s storms and remain united.

In a world where relationships often fray under pressure, a marriage woven with God, forgiveness, open communication, compassion, and truth can stand resilient. These strands aren’t just qualities—they’re choices, commitments, and acts of faith that pull two people closer, even when life gets messy. A marriage built this way becomes more than just a partnership; it becomes a lasting bond, an anchor, and a sanctuary. It reminds us that love, when supported by these strands, isn’t just an emotion—it’s a powerful, enduring promise to face life together, come what may.